Aspendos Opera

by Nob Stewart
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Sometimes a’ hae tae pinch masel tae make sure a’ amnae dreamin. A’ hiv aye’ways considered masel a bit ae a ladies man but jist recently it dawned on me jist hoo many Lady friends a’ actually hae. Quite a few indeedio. It’s fuckin’ great. :-).

Of course, dinnae get me wrong, ma girlfriend Natasha is the only yin who would remotely consider shaggin’ me but that isnae the point.

The point is a’ absolutely adore women and tae hae, oh a’ dinnae ken, at least aboot 20 women who a’ kin call a guid friend and who would be there fur ye in times ae trouble humbles me greatly, cause let’s no’ kid oorselves on, women are the superior sex and the sooner they get back tae runnin’ the planet, the sooner the male ego kin take a back seat and the better aff we’d aw be.

So, with that said, it brought me great pleasure tae be invited by Ceyda and Emily tae go and see a show at the awesome Aspendos Theatre. Of course they knew a’ would bring Natasha along wi’ me but a’ also decided tae take ma son jist so he kin get used tae being aroond sexy birds.

Obviously at 6 he is still too young tae ken aboot shaggin’ an’ that but it willnae dae him any harm tae get aquainted wi’ their lovely smells and general beauty. In fact, he commented on it himself sayin’ “Look Daddy, three girls and two boys!”.

A’ wiz like “Aye son, remember those figures, they are guid odds tae work wi'”


Emily wiz a bit hungry aforehand so we went fur a Gozleme which is a pastry ‘hing wi’ yer choice ae fillin’, feta cheese, cheddar cheese, spinach or potato.

Ye kin’ mix them up if ye want but in general ye jist choose yin. Me and ma boy shared a tattie yin while the ladies got cheese yins.

They are pretty tasty, although cause we bought them at a cafe close tae the venue we were charged at least double the normal goin’ rate which pisses me aff nae end but whit kin ye dae? It’s wiz a captured market as they say.


The venue itsel’ is impressive tae say the least, It is a 2000 year auld Roman Ampitheatre and is the best preserved anywhere in the wurld!


The seats are obviously made ae stone but there wiz a guy sellin’ thin bits ae foam ootside, so a’ got yin fur ma sons arse but then left it in the cafe which didnae impress him tae much.


Hooever, thankfully since the last time a’ wiz there they had decided tae put coloured cushions on the seats so he got his bit ae foam aftir aw’.

It made me wonder why they let the guy ootside rip people aff wi’ bits ae foam ye could practically spit through, fur an extortionate 2 Lira (1 pound)!

A’ wiz telt by anither lady friend ae mine, Serap, jist tae pay fur the cheap seats as ye kin sit anywhere once ye are inside, so we bought 4 tickets at 30 lira, with the boy gettin’ in fur free. That is the upside ae livin’ here, children are still treated as such and kin get in the odd place fur free.

A’still dinnae hae tae pay him on the bus although fur hoo much longer a’ dinnae ken. A’ keep tellin’ him tae stop growin’ but he doesnae listen.

A’ wanted tae smuggle ma video camera in so we went to whit appeared tae be an alternative entrance fae the main yin but wiz actually a performers and VIP entrance.

The lady took oor tickets before she realised we wernae in the show but she jist said ‘Ah, go ahead’ and so a’ had got passed security wi’ ma camera in ma man bag.


Hooever we were tae be met by ushers in the main Arena tae show us tae oor (cheap) seats. Ye wouldnae believe this but the usher wiz anither girl friend ae mine, Demet. She wiz shocked tae see me as a’ amnae exactly known fur ma love ae opera. lol.

She asked fur oor tickets and so a’ jist telt her straight, “We hae tickets fur cheap seats but oor plan is tae sit in the expensive yins!”

She jist laughed as she kens ma patter and said “Ok, on you go.” and with that we took seats front and centre wi’ ma boy grabbin’ a few extra cushions and we settled in fur the performance.


A’ kept on tryin’ tae gie ma son a sense ae awe aboot the venue sayin, “Noo son, this venue is 2000 years old, they used tae throw people in wi’ Lions here fur a fight tae the death just fur entertainment”


A’ try tae gie him a rounded picture ae the wurld and let him ken that human beings are seriously fucked in the heed.


A’ hiv tae say though, a must be dain somethin’ right as he wiz as guid as gold aw the way through the three acts, even though he wiz, like masel, gettin’ a little bit agitated by the last yin.

It wiz a guid show and a’ foond it quite meditative actually, probably cause it was sung in German and so as a’ couldnae understand whit they were on aboot a’ jist focused on the melodies and their beautiful voices. By the third act though a’ wiz meditated oot and ready tae go.

The show wiz by the Ankara Opera Company and their acting and singing wiz pretty faultless. A’ hiv included some footage fur ye tae watch jist in case that kind ae ‘hing turns ye on.

So that jist aboot wraps that yin up. Guid show, guid company and the lovely Ceyda even went quite a bit oot ae her way tae gie me, Natasha and ma boy a lift aw the way hame.

If ye are ever in Antalya area a’ recommend goin tae see a show even if ye dinnae ‘hink it is your cup ae tae, cause it truly is a special unique experience not tae be missed and if ye kin find three gorgeous ladies tae go wi’ mare power tae ye!


Cheers the noo!


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